Phantasmagoria

Joined Facebook for some odd reason.

Renewed hatred for German/British woman I have never met.

Started medication.

And I am still awake. Fancy that.

This long weekend was good.

Very good.

It was awesome, in fact.

The party was fun - I won two prizes for my costume (Sexiest Costume + Most Time Spent on a Costume) and I also got paid $300 for the commission which is AWESOME and I'm going to go and celebrate somehow when I go out like now...

Adam is gone again which sucks ass but at least I don't have to wait as long to see him again.

23 days and counting~

But wow. Party. Sexy, sexy party. It's probably a good idea if I don't say anything about it. Quite a bit happened though. And I remember most of it. Which may or may not be a good thing.

I need to go now. Doctors appointment which I'm not really looking forward to.

I'll remember this in therapy.

/stressstressstress

Never again.

Totally getting what I'm wishing for.

Odd mixture of excitement and terror. Cue, excessive thinking.

There is nothing good about this birthday.

I am aging. It is painful.

I woke up this morning. It was raining. I swore. And went back to sleep.

Got to school late. Swore some more.

CHEERFUL MOMENT: I got Belgian chocolate from Simon before Art History! It's delicious. =3

Anyway.  Interval. Got wet. And cold. Received obliged "happy birthday" from circle. Grumped. Swore.

CHEERFUL MOMENT: Coffeeee~~~ Oh study break is so nice.

Went back to school. Swore. Got cold and grumpy again.  More extensive swearing.

CHEERFUL MOMENT: Signed out~~~ OH 7TH FORM PRIVELEDGES I LOVE YOU. Also went and bought more stuff for my commission. Working on that now actually.

Skipped home. Swore happily. Finished watching Code Geass.



MOMENT OF HORROR: Grandmother comes to me. "OH. YOU RECEIVE SMS ON MY PHONE." And what does it say? "HEY~ Happy Birthday, I baked you a cake. Meet me at interval to get it!"


WHY. WHYYYYY. It's HIS birthday too! I FEEL TERRIBLE. ;__;

/sob.

...and I really wanted that cake too. ;-;

This time switching it to the school computer to finish there as well as hopefully get my Excellence question complete. AGAIN, IGNORE. I WILL update this post later with news.

( Internal )
Blergh. Weekend of pain and pleasure.

...and molestation.

I am not in a very good way right now.

I'm overloaded with school work, financial problems and family problems. But I could almost deal with that. Just, tonight there was a lack of something. A lack of something warm and comforting which I miss very very much.

It's cold today, you know.  It's a cold cold day, and in searching for warmth I find that I am somehow disappearing from his life. I am trying to be there. I am trying to care. But this is the same downfall I experienced three years ago. I need to watch myself. Because things like this are very very difficult.

I thought I could handle being away from him for so long. But now... I don't know. I'm scared. I'm really really scared. I don't want us to grow apart even though I know it's inevitable. I just don't want it to happen now. It's premature. I haven't... had enough yet.

But it's cold today. So very, very cold.

I feel like I should care less. Because in caring, I'm giving him less room to care. I know it's selfish, but I want to be cared about . I don't want to be alone.

Maybe I'm just overreacting. I don't know. Maybe he's just tired and overworked and just as if not more stressed than I am. But it's been three days without affection.

I don't know how much longer I can take the cold.

Yeah, so I actually managed to sort of finish Pikachu before the social. The tail is floppy (now), the hood keeps slipping off and I'm still wearing legwarmers 8D.

So yeah. I went all out. It wasn't bad actually. Tail received heavy damage, a couple of people didn't recognize me (I MEAN, WTF. I'M FUCKING PIKACHU MAN) got hot sweaty and gross and I'm now half deaf - BUT.... I won best-dressed. =D

...well...runner-up-BUT FOR THE RECORD, the judges thought it would be a good idea to be nice to the Year Nines. So in reality I should have won best dressed.

I still need to make some adjustments... Tail needs replacing, collar needs to be put on, I need to add an extra stripe....

So yeah. A finished un-finished yet presentable Pikachu.

... I'm quite proud of myself.

It's two am. Tuesday night. Have just finished the top part of my Pikachu costume (sans the hood and the collar attachment).

Shoddy job of the sleeves, but that's okay. No-one will notice because they'll just be immersed in the epic-ness that is Pikachu.

*pika-pikaaaa*

Only one more night to finish it. >_______>  I can do it because I have only worked a total of 3 hours on it.

...over three days.

WHY??

Why aren't I OLD yet?  Amanda Palmer in WELLINGTON. Amanda Palmer playing a GIG in WELLINGTON. AMANDA PALMER. PLAYING A GIG. IN WELLINGTON.

An R18 gig. T______________T

Excuse me while I go sulk and slit my wrists with a comb.

Unbelievably depressed.

I'm not even at school yet and I've found out who my form teacher is.

Sweet~ <33

I'm in my room.

=3

I'm on the internet in my room.

=3

I have a big bed. A walk in wardrobe. An ensuite. A lock on my door. A TV. Internet connection....

Now all I need is a fridge...

Life is good.

Urine infection hurts like a motherfucker. Not just physically, financially as well. $70 freaking dollars. That may not seem like much but it's all I have had.

Dx I need a job. Fast. Now. Preferably one that I can do without burning anything or screaming at anyone. Which rules out a lot of possibilities, I know. But it's beneficial to everybody's health if I can avoid jobs like that.

At least I managed to get the internet up and running again. Despite the fact it isn't mine.

As of Saturday, I am alone. Completely financially alone. This house is huge, and it's taking a lot of effort getting it sorted the way I want it. My family left all this shit here which means extra effort getting rid of it.

I came home Sunday (in agony) to find my pillow case and hair brush ruined. My sister had a little bitch-fit it seems and spilled moisturiser on my pillow (in reference, I believe, to the word 'slut' she had been hurling at me the day she left) and liquid foundation on my hair brush. I'm getting her to pay me back. =3 Moar monee.

I know this seems selfish. But being paid what I'm owed is what I need to do to survive now that I have no money, no food and no underwear. I'll need to go shopping soon. But how can I, when I have no money?

*sigh* At least they didn't take the cat with them. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my precious cat.

So, I check the post today and it turns out my results have arrived.

...they're stupid.

ALL my estimates were rendered incorrect. >___> I ACTUALLY thought I had a chance of achieving Excellence certificate. I thought I did really well. Dx

Good news is, I did pass everything I attempted. Except for the Classics essay, which I stopped halfway through because it...just...failed. >__>

Anyway. Comparison of estimates and actual results NAO.

NCEA Results

		Estimate	Actual Result
English:	Extended Texts	E	A	Why? I thought it was brilliant Dx
	Short Texts	E/M	A	Also brilliant. I worked ages on it.
	Visual Texts	NA	NA
	Unfamiliar Texts	A	A	It was hard. >___>
Media:	Audience Relationship	NA	NA
	Representation	E/M	M	I actually enjoyed doing this paper.
Classics:	Greek Tragedy	M	M	Yay~ Correct estimate~
	Art + Architecture	A	M	I surpassed my own expectations. *so happy*
	Roman Social Life	N	N	>___> D.O.A.
Drama	Drama Processes	E	A	THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. Dx I object.
French	Listening	M	M	Ah, French L1.
	Reading	E	M	I got kicked out of geography. =3
	Writing	NA	NA
Spanish	Listening	M	A	*sigh*
	Reading	M	A	So much for being best in the class.
	Writing	A	A

*sigh* >___> I hate being wrong.

Home at last~ Well. Not really. I haven't technically been home the past two days. I've also had nothing but junk food these past couple of days as well, and for some reason I'm really looking forward to a nice salad.

...no. Just. No.  I need to stop thinking these thoughts.

I've been having these really odd uber mood swings of doom and otherwise. One minute I'm feeling great and the next moment, my Wii isn't working and I want to die. Dx I blame Sayounara Zetsubou Sensei. The ending theme is STILL stuck in my head from the marathon with Pura this morning.

My laptop is all grubby from use. Dx It makes me sad because once upon a time (about a week ago) it was really really shiny and pretty and I loveloveloved it.

...don't get me wrong. I still lovelovelove it. It's just....not as shiny. =( And it doesn't feel as smooth when I type.

Anyway. Adam is staying the night tonight. Apparently I'm supposed to text Dad about it and my Grandmother is semi-approving of him staying (but in a different room -silly old people-) and Adam is off now at Little India having a farewell dinner for his friend Bill who is moving to Australia.

I'm trying to get him to play Legend of Zelda, but so far it's failing because he isn't liking the controls and the camera angles. He prefers the Final Fantasy style of camera angles, which I think is silly. The thing that pissed me off the most about Final Fantasy games is the camera positioning and the way the characters kind of get stuck in the background and you have NO idea where exactly they are.

I think Adam is just a fussy little bitch. Silly boy. If you're reading this, stop not enjoying the good things I shove in your face. I know you don't want to. Just bloody do.

>(

My cat is being uber affectionate. Like. So affectionate he's violent about it. Having him headbutt your face this often really kills the braincells. It's cute and all, but I've been home for 2 days kitty. I missed you too and all, but our 2 day reunion is just...too much.

It's kind of scary to think. In a couple of days half of my family will be in a completely different country and I will be left to fend for myself.

Dx

I'm in the airport, in the Koru Lounge (because my friend got free accessand is travelling on the same flight as me) which is sweet because my mother said that I would never get in here without her.

Guess what.

I did. =3

In any case, a week of beaches and dusty 60's baches isn't all too pleasant, but it's okay. My flight boards in a couple of minutes and I'll  be back in civilisation again.

Oops. Plane boards now. I'll complain more later. =3

Well, there goes one of the best years of my life.

Goodbye 2008~ I hardly knew you. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or just forget you - which I have done already so I suppose it doesn't really matter.

I swear. My memory is really bad. I don't remember anything before the last two months. And even then, I don't really remember what happened then.

...I hardly remember what I had for breakfast this morning. Did I have breakfast? I don't remember. What's going on??

Am I getting too old for this? ;-;